"There's nothing here to take for granted, with each breath that we take"

I have been constantly depressed or stressed out or plain exhausted (or a combination of these) for the last 2 to 3 weeks, and I think it's starting to get to me. I sleep well some nights now, I haven't really had a streak of nights that I couldn't sleep, but last night was an especially bad one. I kind of rolled around all night, and any time I could finally fall asleep I'd just have some kind of bad/unpleasant dream that would wake me up immediately.. not exactly a blast. I'm just glad I've been sleeping more, it's good for me to get some rest, and I haven't really been frustrated with people for no reason lately, so that's a plus.

A few years from now, I figure I'll be a pretty lonely person. I feel like lately it's hard for me to find anyone to have a serious conversation with, and it's really hard to talk about personal stuff and how I feel. I could be surrounded by people and still feel completely lonely. It's understandable now, everyone seems to have a significant other, or a better friend they'd rather spend their time with and all that jazz, but I guess it kind of sucks that I have so many friends, but none that I can really talk to. I guess Valentine's Day made that very painfully obvious to me, just cause it sparked up all the reasons I missed being in a relationship. I'm glad that crummy holiday is over with.

In a few years though, a lot of my friends will have graduated from here and will go to live their lives, and I'll probably be left here in Georgia still to continue my studies. I feel like it's hard for me to interact with anyone anymore since I'm always so focused on doing well, and never can seem to find something to pick up my mood (I'm much more social when I'm in a good mood). So I'll probably just be working and studying without really talking with anyone once I'm in grad school, and I doubt things will get any better. I feel like I'm not having enough fun for someone my age I guess, and that if I miss the opportunity these next few years, it will never come again.

Onto a different tangent I guess, for my Freshman Leadership Organization, we have to organize and attend this event called Fresh Formal, where all of us from the different groups come together and have a dance type of setting. So.. I guess I'm going, thing is, if you're attending you either have to find a date from a different freshman organization than your own, or get paired with a random person from a different FLO. I'm just kind of worried I might not luck out or something.. or the person will think I'm disgusting.. Ah well.

I need to do some homework, so I guess I'll try to update more often!